The Chosen Family

The best families are the ones we choose.

 We are all born into a family.  It is a given that we have parents and grandparents.  Whether they are present or not, whether we know who they are or who they are not, we still have them.  Biologically we must have them or we would not be here.  Some of us have brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews with the list going on and on.  I have all of these.  They are all wonderful in their own right.  In fact my female cousins and I try to plan a girls trip every year.  I love them and I love spending time with them. However the family I am closest to are the ones I am not even blood related to.

My family consists of a handful of very close friends, my mama and papa, and my awesome daughter.  I live with my girlfriend Carlita.  We stated living together several years ago and we have turned out to be pretty good roommates.  We are very different people but I think we a good fit as roommates go.  My best friend is a dude.  We get along nicely and our relationship has grown from work mates to friends.  He shares his family with me and they are most generous with their kindness.  I can count on my friend to tell me the truth about things even when I really don't want the truth.  He is honest and the most giving person I know.  My mama and papa are awesome people.  They are very supportive and have always been there for me when I have needed them.  They have shown up through the years for all the good and bad stuff.  I must admit that I have probably not thanked them enough for all they have done for and put with in respect to me.  I will have to make a point to do that more.  My really incredible daughter is the most precious family member I have.  We are very different and in a few way alike.  She is by far braver than I.  She will take risks in her life that will be rewarding whether she is successful in them or not.  I have learned so much from her and continue to do so.  I guess we learn from each other.  All of us.

I love all of my family.  There is never enough time to let them all know that.  I should get on that, telling them I mean how much they each mean to me and how they have each enriched my life. 

Meet Jose Pulido

          My classmate, Jose Pulido, is a handsome young  gentleman with a friendly and welcoming smile.  He was nicely dressed in jeans and a dark colored sweatshirt.  Comfortably he answered my questions and appeared quite glad to do so, thus making it easier for me to ask them.

            Jose is an Oxnard native.  He grew up with two older brothers and no sisters.  He is close with his grandfather, Moises, as he has been his "father figure."  They live across the street from another and his grandfather is very supportive of all that he does.  Jose has tried to pass along this support by being there for his nephew, who is also named Moises.  Unfortunately this has become more difficult since his nephew has moved to Bakersfield.  However, Jose continues his support of the younger Moises with phone calls and holiday visits.  When Jose speaks of his family his voice has a softer and warmer tone that hints of the respect and love he shares with them.

            Soccer is the game he loves.  He started playing at a young age and still plays today.  Playing defense for club teams has led him here to college for an education that will lead into the career of his choice as a physical therapist.

            Having lived in Oxnard his whole life he has attended all of his lower education locally and graduated from Oxnard High.  He is now enjoying the experience of a college education here at Oxnard College.  At first he was surprised by the way in which professors leave it to their students to get their work done.  He did admit that one of the more difficult things for him in the college environment is something he himself does, procrastinate.  We both laughed a bit when I reported having that problem myself.  Here at Oxnard College he is most impressed with their soccer program and how well structured it is.

            Ten years from now Jose sees himself still living locally in the Oxnard community.  He was raised here and hopes to then be working in his chosen career and maybe raising his own family.

            When not busy with his educational pursuits Jose is busy working.  He works full time for Med-Three Thousand. 

            Between full time work and full time school, Jose has little time for anything else.  He does try to leave Friday and Saturday evenings open to hang out with friends and listen to some music.  Hip Hop, Jazz or Rock would be the music you would hear if you were hanging out with he and friends.

            When asked to describe himself in three words; he responded confidently and without hesitation "fun, outgoing and motivated."  I would agree with that self assessment.  He was certainly fun to speak with.  His outgoing nature made it comfortable to ask questions.  His motivation is apparent in his descriptions of future plans that he has laid out and is apparently staying on his time table with.

            Good luck to you Jose in all that you do.  Thank you of your open and friendly attitude.  It was a pleasure getting to know you.     

Lessons of Life in a Box

 

 

 

Lessons of Life in a Box

            Throughout our lives we have experiences that for some reason stick in our memories forever.  Perhaps they stay there until we are able to reflect back and learn from the experience.  One of my earliest lessons presented itself to me when I was eight years old....

                        At the time we lived in Canyon Country, in a growing development. My house was not far from my friend Kasey's.  They were separated by a wash basin that was wide and at that time dry.  I had crossed this wash so many times going to and from Kasey's house that I knew it well.

            The day had been warm and was spent with my girlfriend.  I don't really recall how we spent it.  We may have  ridden her dad's horse or played with the many toy one's we had.  Regardless of how we may have spent the time came for me to head on home. It was on my home that I found the box.

            It was that on this particular day that I was headed home from Kasey's when a box, that was not there earlier, caught my eye.  As an eight year old I was both curious and cautious.   As I approached the box I wondered who would have placed it there.  I recognized the box as the same type of laundry detergent box that my mom used.  It looked as though someone had cut the top off and had placed open end up.  I approached the box slowly,  as if waiting for something to jump out of it and scare me.  I  got closer and nothing jumped out.  Looking over the edge of the box I discovered six or eight very tiny baby mice.   

            "OH MY GOSH!" I thought to myself  "Who would leave them here?"  I knew they would die within a few hours.  Being the animal lover I was, I knew that I needed to rescue the mice.  I gently picked the box up and headed on home.   I just knew that my parents would be proud of me.  I walked into the house so tall and sure of myself; anticipating a hero's welcome.

            "Mom?" I called out.

            "In the kitchen." My youthful mother replied.  Mom was in her twenties at the time.

            "Look what I found in the wash." I said, holding up the box of baby mice for to see.  "Someone just left them out there."  I stated with a tone of disgust in my voice.  I couldn't understand how someone could be so cruel. 

            Her reaction to the mice completely caught me off guard.

            "Tracy Micheyl, you had better take that box and those mice back to where you found them.  Your daddy put them out there to die."  She said that so calmly and in a matter of fact way.  I couldn't believe my dad could be that cruel.

            "No! He did not!"  I responded, as I raised my voice.  I could feel the tears welling in my eyes.  My grip on the box tightened in an attempt to protect the tiny mice.

            "Tracy, your father found them in the garage and we can't have them living there." Again, she spoke so calmly, about disposing of God's innocent creatures.  These were little lives.

            As tears rolled down my cheeks I begged, "Please don't make me take them back to die!".  After a few minutes of pleading my mother gave up the argument stating ,"You will have to convince your father when he returns home."

            "OK." I responded between sniffles.

            So wiping my tears on my sleeve and clinging to the box, I headed for my room.  There I waited for several hours.  Watching over my new charges ever so closely.  I spent the time planning what I would say to daddy when he got home. 

            As the sun began to set, I heard the sound of daddy's truck in the driveway.  All of the sudden I was afraid.  Would he even listen to me?  Would he yell at me for bringing them back to the house?  Would I be punished for refusing to follow my mother's direction?

            I heard the front door open and my father and mother greeting each other.  I could not understand their words as their voices were hushed and low.  I just knew they were talking about me and my head raced through all the things I had planned to say.  I looked at the baby mice and reminded myself that I had done the right thing.

            The sound of daddy's footsteps got louder as he came down the hall toward my room.  Daddy opened the door looking tired from his long day at work.  He sighed as he came through my bedroom door. 

            "I hear you have something to say to me girl?" His voice was low and appeared very calm.

            "Daddy why?" Was all I could say as the tears welled up in my eyes spilling down my cheeks.  I pulled the box onto my lap and sat holding it tightly.

            "All right girl.  For you I will take care of them."  He said smiling at me, wiping my small right cheek with his large rough skinned hand.

            "Give me the box and go on to dinner." He said in closing.

            "Thank you daddy, thank you!"  I exclaimed.

            He gave me a kiss on the head and took the box with the tiny mice back to the garage.  I was proud of myself that I convinced daddy to save the mice.

            Flash forward about eighteen years. Daddy and I were watching a football game.  The weather was hot outside and the house cooler was blaring away.  I am not sure why but the mice in the box popped into my thoughts.  I began to look at my dad with a thought of saying thank you again.  I wanted him to know that eighteen years he really tried to make his little girl happy.  However when he turned to look at me; I knew the truth........

            "What?" He asked

            "You never put those mice back. Did you?" I asked.

            "Hell no!" He stated.  "What even made you think of that?"  He asked as we both laughed.

            I responded "Not a clue daddy. Not a clue."

            What seemed like life's biggest crises at eight years, now seemed like and act done out of necessity.

           

Fast Food; Easy and convenient or easy way out?

When I was a child we very seldom had fast food.  My parents who did not have much money just thought it silly to eat out like that.  I do remember that about once a month we would all go as a family to Baskin Robbins for ice cream.  It was a special because we did not do it often and it was, for my brother and I, the ultimate treat.  We always got the tiny waffle cone and one ice cream scoop of our choice.  I do remember my mother getting banana splits and thinking "who wants fruit when there is all this ice cream."  McDonalds' had not even installed playgrounds when I was a kid but I did like their cheeseburgers.  Later after my parents divorced we ate fast food a lot.  Mostly McDonalds' and Jack in the Box.  I liked Jack in the Box because going thru the drive thru you ordered from a large Jack head.  I thought it was kind of cool.   They also had an order of frings, half French fries and half onion rings.  Another thing I thought was cool.  I mean come on why settle for just one or the other when you could have both.  I guess for my dad taking my brother out to fast food was both easy and convenient and the easy way out.

Today my life is very busy.  I have certainly designed it that way and as bad as it sounds eating out is a big part of that lifestyle.  I have little time to cook and even when I do have time I think it is easier to go out since it is just me.  I  mean who wants to prepare a meal for one person when it is so much easier and convenient to drive thru and have it handed to you. This is also the easy way out because you do not have to do the dishes when you are done eating just toss the paper in the trashcan.    I hate doing dishes.  I bet I eat fast food at least five times a week and other meals I eat at a sit down restaurant or skip altogether.  That may be worse than the fast food. 

My favorite fast food place would have to be..... In and Out Burger.  I order a cheese burger animal style.  That means grilled onions and sauce are added.  I think?  I have heard it said that they have this whole secret menu and I believe it.  I have heard some weird orders people have made while I am waiting in line or waiting for my food.  What is amazing to me is the variety of fast food out there.  Everything from pasta to tacos, hamburgers to subs.  Heck Starbucks really upped the coffee competition in the fast food market. Also another one with a secret menu.  Gees!  Well I will admit I am a coffee girl.  A lot of coffee.  I need it! Coffee is not a matter of easy convenience or the easy way out, it is just a must.  In got to go and get some now.

Me Again!

New semester and new schedule. Yay! Hello everyone my name is Tracy. I was previously in this class but had to leave it due to a change in my work schedule. However I am back and ready to go.



I grew up here in California and did live in the North East corner of Texas for several years. I graduated from Saugus High many moons ago and did not return to school for quite awhile. I held many jobs in the middle starting with a puppeteer at Magic Mountain. I have served fast food, answered phones, assisted a veterinarian and managed an office. I have to admit that the job that remains my favorite is the first one, puppeteer.



Currently I work and go to school. I live in Santa Paula, a town I really like. It has small town charm and everyone seems very nice. Today I work as a Certified Addictions Treatment Counselor. My main focus is adolescents and their families. It is my hope that I can make a difference in at least one teens life. This is an area that we as a society need to acknowledge requires some intervention early on.  There are many resources for families out there but it sure takes a lot to find them. 



I hope that with refocused energy I can complete my AA and then move on to a Masters in psychology. Again hoping to be of service to families with high risk teens. It is often a stressful job but on occasion I get to see a little change that I pray takes hold. I see my future is full of school and work but I would like to do a bit of traveling also.  That would be cool.



I am looking forward to this semester and to meeting all my classmates in the room. Hope everyone has a great one.

Texting, May not be so good.....

Texting is the newest and quickest way to communicate with someone.  Well this may not always be the case but for most of us it is.  Anyone who has a cell phone can easily send a short message to anyone else with a cell phone.  I guess it is convenient to convey short messages like "please pick up bread on your way home" or " meet me at 9:30 instead of 9:00."  I can totally see how this is helpful.  However I do believe that it may be getting out of control, so to speak.

I know people who have whole conversations in this manner.  I admit I am one of them.  My choice would be to actually talk to one another but there are some people, friends of mine included,  who prefer to text.  I can only guess as to why this trend is becoming more prevalent.

It is becoming more and more acceptable to take less responsibility for how our actions and words affect others.  Texting allows us to take this to a whole new level.  We can say things to each other without seeing the look in someone's eyes or hearing their tone in their response.  The beauty is they can't see our eyes or hear our tone either.

We can tell someone how annoying they are or how their jokes are not funny without seeing the hurt or disappointment in their facial expressions.  You can break up with your lover without seeing the tears form in their eyes or slide down their cheek.  There is the added bonus that you can tell someone that you sent a text you would not be able to meet, when really you forgot to, and they just did not get the message.  Some people may do this these things just to be mean but I think most who use this method are avoiding conflict which they are terribly afraid of.  It allows them to speak freely about things, feelings and thoughts that they think they are not allowed to share. 

We may in fact be doing future generations a disservice.  The younger  we start our children in using this method to communicate the less proper social and communication skills they learn.  I believe they will have difficulty holding an appropriate conversation for education and work.  Without learning how to talk or express their feelings and thoughts in person when it comes time to do so they will have increased anxiety and feelings of panic. 

I know some who communicate with their employees this way.  It appears to be the direction the communication in the work place is going.  It's a shame really.  The lack of contact we have with other people is enabling us to see each other as just a number or message on our phone.  It makes it less human and easier to ignore what a person needs as a thinking, feeling  creature.  Misunderstandings are frequent as expression and intonation are missed.  They are attempted to be replaced by the cute little smiley faces but it really does lack a personal contact.

Will I keep texting?  Yes.  Like I said some of my friends do mostly that.  I think I will make a point to do less though.